We opt in.

A SMC friend posted this article on fb: No Dad? No Problem. Meet the Moms Who Opt In Forever—and Aren’t Complaining. I really enjoyed reading it. The SMC group's philosophy bears re-printing:

The word “choice” in our title has two implications: we have made a serious and thoughtful decision to take on the responsibility of raising a child by ourselves, and we have chosen not to bring a child into a relationship that is not a satisfactory one.

My friends tell me that agreeing with another person on matters as huge as parenting is challenging. I don't envy them having to maintain a relationship with another adult in addition to everything either. I used to envy parents who had the luxury of "opting out" of work, but I also know that they are often making that sacrifice for their kids and their partner's career, which is a lot to do for other people. One of my sisters once figured out, after years being a stay-at-home mom, that if she went back to work she might make more money than her husband. She realized, with glee, that that would give her the option to leave him.

My experience is limited to the people I know. This article represents the perspectives a larger group of women. It struck me that choosing single motherhood appears to be an urban phenomenon, and not just for cultural reasons, also for logistical reasons. I imagine it becomes more difficult to stay connected with your community, and have your social needs met, if you live in low-concentration land use.

Launch

San Francisco has a lot of advocacy organizations. We have active, engaged people who know how the use the internet. I started Urban Family to express my family values, in hopes that others share them, in hopes of growing the movement.

Commitment to our values:

• Public schools
• Transportation by bike, foot, and/or public transit
• Organic, locally-produced food
• Beautiful, walkable neighborhoods: walk to shops and playgrounds
• Relationship building through in-person communication (no screens or wires required)
• Creative expression: music, dance, theater, art...
• Diverse family structures: it takes love to raise a child not a specific gender or number of people.
• Balanced living: working, parenting, sleeping, eating, socializing, and doing whatever you need to do to feel like yourself
• Conscious consumption and no waste 
• Flexible work schedules and self-employment 
• Affordable housing and promoting home ownership

This is a work in progress. If these thoughts resonate, don't hesitate to submit your comments on how to articulate them better.

Blog posts will include:

• time management techniques
• parenting quandries
• resources for childcare, enrichment classes, etc.
• meal plans
• advocacy on relevant issues 
• financial strategies